Sunday, October 19, 2014

Harry Pogger vs the Hedgehog Dementors

After four night shifts, my mind shifted back from work-work-work to Poggles.  I had hoped to pick up a new baby hedgehog this Sunday, but soon realized I was not really in the right mind set to get a new baby yet.  I still missed Poggles too much.

Instead, my hunny took me out for coffee and pastries, we strolled around the markets, and we hunted for Halloween pumpkins.  He picked three perfect pumpkins and I chose one demented one.  I imagined turning its hideous-ness into some kind of amazing art piece, but had to admit afterwards that the pumpkin (unfortunately) looked like a large orange butt.  C'est la vie.

Today, I curled into bed and read books.  It was very comfy and comforting.  I also painted this picture of Harry Pogger.  He is fighting plump hedgehog-shaped dementors.  My hunny says the dementors need scarier, longer arms, but I like them short and chubby as is.  Sort of cuter... in a dementor sort of way.

My friend came by and gave me a lovely card wishing me to feel better soon.  She also gave me a cute hedgehog ornament that reminded her of Poggles.  She even drew in a V where Poggles used to have two white quills that formed a V-shape.  I thought that was really sweet of her.  It really brought a smile to my day.

I hope you are having a good weekend  :)

xoxo

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Over the Rainbow Bridge

It's hard to have no hedgehog.

Ever since Poggles passed away, it is hard passing by his cage every day.  His linens are cleaned and I have piled them and all his belongings inside the cage.  I guess you could say the cage is full, but it seems emptier than it has ever been before to me.

I find it hard to go outside to look at his grave.  It is something I dread.  I cannot believe that my little friend is outside.  He was always inside before.  I think about how it must be cold outside.  When it rains, I think about how he is getting all wet.  It makes my heart break.  It does not seem right.  I want him inside where it is warm and dry.

I don't want to talk about how I miss my hedgehog to other people.  I don't think they will understand.  People say that it is okay to lose a pet, that it only matters and is irreplaceable when it is a person that is gone.  They are wrong though.  It hurts just as much to lose a pet.  In some ways, it hurts more.  Your pet is the perfect friend when you are sad, and now that perfect friend is gone when you need them most.  How do you tell your perfect friend that you miss them when they are dead?

Other people around me tell me about their problems and I am only half-listening.  I am sorry to say that I don't care right now.  I am sorry to say that I am going to be the worst friend ever in the next while.  Please understand.  I just need some time to grieve.  I just want to think about Poggles.

So please be patient with me for a little while.  I have lost a little friend that meant a lot to me, and I don't think I will be okay for now.  I just want to cry for a little while.

xoxo

Friday, October 3, 2014

Here Lies Poggy

Today marks the end of three and a half beautiful years with Poggles.  He passed away early morning. 
 He did not heal properly after the foot injury and the wound kept getting worse.  Despite our best efforts, he was suffering.  He could not walk anymore, he was weak, and he lost weight.  I fed him with a spoon for his last two days and he ate readily.  I had hope that he would recover.  
 Last night he appeared to be in pain or to be having seizures.  I gave him one last dose of pain medication and he settled down.  He licked towards me over and over again like he was thankful or giving me kisses and then settled down looking at me from the opening in his pouch.  
This morning, he was still in the same position looking out.  He didn't answer when I called.  He wasn't alive anymore.  I cried and cried all day long and wondered about all the things I might have done for him to save him.  
In the end, I am just thankful that he waited for me and that I was with him in his last moments.  He was a very good hedgehog and the best study buddy ever.  He was a great source of comfort to me all throughout nursing school.  
I wrapped him in thick paper towel and made him a nice biodegradable coffin out of layers of newspaper.  
Coincidentally, it says, "above & beyond" on the lid.  I thought that was kind of nice.  Like he's gone to heaven or somewhere in the sky.  I can't explain the red seedless grapes though.
We buried him in a lovely plot of the garden where English Mint and Lemon Balm grows.  I think he would have liked the smell.  My sweetheart sang a song and I said a speech for him.  We gathered little flowers from my garden and put them all about his grave.
Rest in peace, my little hedgehog.  I will love you and miss you always.  You will forever be in my heart.  Good bye, Master Pogglebee.