Thursday, June 19, 2008

A Bridesmaid Dress

My friend is getting married this summer and I'll be a bridesmaid for the very first time. It's a funny feeling to have friends all around you getting married or announcing their first child... you feel like you missed a boat somewhere. You look left, you look right, and all around you are married people.

The odd thing is that I don't wish that I was getting married or having my first child. I like not being married and just dating and being happy with that. I find it far more romantic, for some odd reason. Marriage seems so confining and final. It's like the bridge between being young and free, and being tied down with kids. I feel guilty to be thinking this way. I think I should be like all the other girls, wishing for their own wedding day and dreaming of what I will wear or look like. Unfortunately, I seem to have missed that boat too.

Now, being a bridesmaid though, that seems to have fulfilled some fancy of mine. I get to wear a pretty dress, help the bride with all her happy wedding day needs and then, at the end of the day, I get to go home and still keep my last name intact. It seems almost sinful to be enjoying a wedding and getting away with exchanging no vows of my own.

Now, don't get me wrong, I am very happy for my friends. They really wanted to get married and to have their dream weddings, so I am happy that they are fulfilling their dreams. They really wanted to have kids too, so announcing their first child is pure bliss. But, as for me, I have no desire for these things yet.

Perhaps I'm just a late-bloomer.

Maybe, one day, I will gleefully announce my own wedding and you'll all shake your heads knowingly. But until that day, I am content being me. One person, one love, and happy.


Chickenbells said...

At least you know where you're at with this stuff...I told my friends when I finally got married that I wouldn't be IN weddings that I'm divorced, I'm much happier to participate...weird.

Anonymous said...

I hope you have a blast at the wedding, and don't feel guilty! Your situation is much more desireable than someone begging for what they cannot have. :) Way to be content and happy with your own green grass. :) said...

Yes, I think you're right, Blaze. I guess it is better this way than pining to be married. :P

Sadie: You wouldn't be in weddings anymore after you got married!? How very odd! I would have expected that you'd love weddings afer getting married, but I guess we're all different. I'm glad you're happier now :D

b.p. said...

that's the part i don't like about being a part of weddings - the dressing up part. being a bridesmaid in a yukata was the best dress i've ever been in - felt like PJs!

i think that's mostly me though, i don't have fancy dreams of the wedding day or the children either!

Sweetwater Designs said...

Oh, thats fun!...enjoy yourself and your single life. Marriage and all it brings will come soon enough :)

Brion said...

Interesting post!! wedding is really a best time for fun and enjoyment. I will get marry next month and just got a wedding dress from TJFormal. said...

Hi Em! Maybe you can mix-up traditions and go for a yukata for your dress too. It looked so good for Melody's wedding! I liked the wax umbrella's!

Ah, thanks Sweetwater!