The odd thing is that I don't wish that I was getting married or having my first child. I like not being married and just dating and being happy with that. I find it far more romantic, for some odd reason. Marriage seems so confining and final. It's like the bridge between being young and free, and being tied down with kids. I feel guilty to be thinking this way. I think I should be like all the other girls, wishing for their own wedding day and dreaming of what I will wear or look like. Unfortunately, I seem to have missed that boat too.
Now, being a bridesmaid though, that seems to have fulfilled some fancy of mine. I get to wear a pretty dress, help the bride with all her happy wedding day needs and then, at the end of the day, I get to go home and still keep my last name intact. It seems almost sinful to be enjoying a wedding and getting away with exchanging no vows of my own.
Now, don't get me wrong, I am very happy for my friends. They really wanted to get married and to have their dream weddings, so I am happy that they are fulfilling their dreams. They really wanted to have kids too, so announcing their first child is pure bliss. But, as for me, I have no desire for these things yet.
Perhaps I'm just a late-bloomer.
Maybe, one day, I will gleefully announce my own wedding and you'll all shake your heads knowingly. But until that day, I am content being me. One person, one love, and happy.
7 comments:
At least you know where you're at with this stuff...I told my friends when I finally got married that I wouldn't be IN weddings anymore...now that I'm divorced, I'm much happier to participate...weird.
I hope you have a blast at the wedding, and don't feel guilty! Your situation is much more desireable than someone begging for what they cannot have. :) Way to be content and happy with your own green grass. :)
Yes, I think you're right, Blaze. I guess it is better this way than pining to be married. :P
Sadie: You wouldn't be in weddings anymore after you got married!? How very odd! I would have expected that you'd love weddings afer getting married, but I guess we're all different. I'm glad you're happier now :D
that's the part i don't like about being a part of weddings - the dressing up part. being a bridesmaid in a yukata was the best dress i've ever been in - felt like PJs!
i think that's mostly me though, i don't have fancy dreams of the wedding day or the children either!
Oh, thats fun!...enjoy yourself and your single life. Marriage and all it brings will come soon enough :)
Interesting post!! wedding is really a best time for fun and enjoyment. I will get marry next month and just got a wedding dress from TJFormal.
Hi Em! Maybe you can mix-up traditions and go for a yukata for your dress too. It looked so good for Melody's wedding! I liked the wax umbrella's!
Ah, thanks Sweetwater!
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