Week 1 of Semester 7 - No, not again!

I can't believe I'm back to school AGAIN already.  I didn't even tell you about my vacation yet and it's already back to school.

Change and Research
The theme of this semester is change and research.  I don't know much about these two topics yet, but the gist seems to be that we will do a big project all semester long that will create change in a community organization.  We will also learn about how to be smart consumers of scientific research and how research is important to nursing practice.

I Like To Ride My Bicycle
Confined to endless textbook readings, I have re-rigged a way to prop my textbook up on my stationary bike.  I hope this will help me to stay "active" while having no choice but to read ALL DAY LONG.

The teachers are warning us that this semester will be brutal and that we can say good bye to our social life.  They even said that we can't listen to music or watch TV while doing homework.

Fear Mongering
When I listen to them talk in class about how hard this semester will be, I imagine them as jailers telling us to say goodbye to our freedom.  It is actually kind of scary how much they are trying to make us feel anxiety so we will hopefully stay on track this semester.

I wonder if they are right or whether they are exaggerating a tad bit.  I mean, EVERY semester is hard.  If this one is hard, it's no different, right?  Every semester I say goodbye to my freedom.  Why is this one suddenly different?

I think this semester will be no more difficult than when I took the extra elective course in semester 6.  I aced that elective course too.  I think I'll just have to work equally hard.  But, of course, I'll probably eat my foot later...

Language
The language in this semester is different, says our teacher.  In other words, the language of our textbooks this semester is MORE BORING.

I almost died just trying to get through Chapter 1.  I think it was supposed to be one of the easier chapters to read, but it's the kind of textbook where your mind wants to wander because it can't comprehend why it took so many words to say something so simple.  Other times, I just wonder why I need to know so many small details.

Why can't I just get a summary?

But of course if I memorize the general idea, they are going to test me on the details.  It always happens.  I should know better by now...

Negativity?
Do I sound negative?  Yes!  Of course I do.  But it's for a good reason.  It's because my vacation was so good and I miss it already  :)  Please, please let it be vacation time again.

I don't want it to be school time already!  I just wanna go back to my big boat, eating tasty foods, saying hello to Mickey Mouse...

You see how upset Donald Duck is?  It's like I was leaning over the rail enjoying the view and someone shoved me overboard onto Vancouver soil  :P  

Alas, there is no point in complaining.  If I work very hard, it will be vacation time soon enough.  My classmates tell me that I will be finished my nursing program in 8 months!  That is indeed not a very long time. 

I can do it!  I hope you are having a good time wherever you are.

Hedgehogs Make the Best Study Buddies

 I hope you all had a very happy Halloween!  My sweetie was away for the holiday, but he brought me back TREATS!  Om nom nom!  I have a been a happy girl lately.  He sure knows the way to my heart, huh?  :D

 School has been very stressful lately.  There is TOO MUCH HOMEWORK!  I'm also drowning in exams. Luckily for me,  I have a very good study buddy.

Poggles sleeps in his pouch on my bed when I'm studying.  When I turn around, this is what I see.

Little bum and legs as he digs around.  Gotta make that bed cozy!

 Hm, looks like the little doofus fell over  :)  Hehehe, looks funny.

 When I laugh at him, he turns around to look at me, but the little squished face makes me laugh more.

 This is when he turns disapproval on full blast.  Uh oh!

 Awww, when he's all snuggled in his little pink tail sticks out.

Lol, he's like a jelly roll.

Well, I better get back to work.  Mr. Slave-driver Hedgehog commands it.  :D

Have a great week!

Week 3 of Semester 4

This was a pretty busy week so I was back to my bad habit of not sleeping enough.  I zombied my way through a group presentation, assignments, and homework.  What really tired me out though was clinical.

I had it easy last week.  My patient was only sub-acute and I had a lot of extra time to putter around bonding with patients.  I think my teacher knew I wasn't being challenged enough so she gave me an extra complicated patient this week.  I also got to start on medications.

Tube feeding
This was my first experience with feeding tubes.  I had only seen suctioning tubes before this, and we had only just learned about managing feeding tubes in lab.  Now, here I was with a feeding tube before me.  I was pretty intimidated.

However, once I had gone through the process of delivering medications by the feeding tube once, it began to seem pretty straight forward.

There's a lever on the tubing.  You open the port, put the syringe in, turn the lever, and flush it with 10 ml of water.  Turn the lever, take off the syringe.  Suck up the medication (which is crushed and mixed with 30 mls of water), put it in the port, turn the lever, inject the meds. Turn the lever, take off the syringe, suck up more meds, do the same thing as before.  When you're done, you flush it again with 30 mls of water, close the port, and you're done!

Okay, so it doesn't sound so straight forward in print.  I swear it's easier in real life!

Teacher Feedback
Anyhow, it was quite an experience, and I had to remember to keep the patient upright before doing this to prevent choking.  I liked how the teacher gave me feedback on what she saw, and then asked me how I thought it went and how I wanted to improve for next time.  It made me do some thinking and it helped me to review what I had read and what I had just learned from the experience.

Parkinson's Disease
This was also my first experience with Parkinson's Disease.  The pt basically had no (or extremely limited) control over their own body (twitching, shaking), but the mind appeared to be aware of what was going on.  Worst of all, the patient couldn't talk and sometimes could only whisper quietly.  I found it incredibly distressing.

I felt that the patient was at the mercy of the nurses, and if something went wrong, the patient couldn't call for help or even  push the call button.  I didn't like seeing the patient with such little control over what happened.  It would be one thing to be unconscious like that, or to be a baby, but this patient was aware of what was going on.  I can't put my finger on exactly why I find that so frightening, but it is very scary to me. Maybe it's because it reminds me of being trapped in a doll that can't move or talk, but can move its eyes, think, and feel.

Anyhow, I did my best.

It's Worth It For The Smile
I told the patient every little thing before I did it so that they were not surprised, and I talked the patient through any procedures done by other people (ex. inserting IVs or drawing blood).  I asked for permission before I did things, and the patient nodded or shook their head (thank goodness, they could at least move the head a little).  I leaned in beside the patient's head so that I could catch the whispers when they came through, and heard little comments like "I'm scared" that broke my heart. I felt so bad for the patient.

I did get a smile once though.  That was nice.  Parkinson's often creates a mask-like expression in patients so I didn't expect the smile.

Sore Feet
I don't even remember what I was doing, but I was walking/or speed walking a lot around the ward.  There were always supplies to gather, people to find, things to do.  My feet were super sore at the end of each day.  I was walking gingerly when I got home.  Maybe I need better insoles or something.

Fatigue
I was so tired.  I was emotionally drained from wanting so badly to be good to the patient, and physically tired from lack of sleep and hard work.

It has been a good experience and good learning this week.  I wonder what next week will be like?

Enjoy yours!

Week 8 of Nursing School, 2nd Year

I'm finally in the long-awaited Maternity rotation. This was supposed to be the ward that would change my life.  I'm supposed to find my calling and feel tugging in my heart strings.  Ironically, I haven't really felt that yet.

Instead, I've been slightly bored.

Quiet Maternity
The maternity ward is very quiet compared to the surgical ward.  The mothers are generally in good health and I won't be assigned more complicated cases until later in this term.  My first patient was very sweet, content with her new baby, and tired.  I only had to check her vital signs once, and she was mostly sleeping, feeding the baby, or gazing contentedly at her baby most of the time.

Pain
The main concern of the new mothers is pain from childbirth.  After a woman gives birth, her insides have to stop the bleeding and start changing back to pre-baby status.  This is a normal process and it is very important. Unfortunately, it doesn't feel very good.  Also, some of the moms have wounds from the baby coming out and tearing her nether parts (ouch!) from being too big or too fast.

Here's some traumatic information for you.  The tearing can be just skin (first degree), skin and muscle (second degree), skin and muscle all the way to the anus (third degree), or all the way through the anus to the other side of your anus (fourth degree).

I find this to be very frightening.  I keep wondering whether these women knew what they were getting themselves into and why they choose to have more kids.  I watch them hunched over, walking slowly and gingerly to and from the bathrooms.  I'm still in shock-phase, but I'm sure I'll soon appreciate my mom a lot for what she went through to give birth to me.

Teaching Opportunities
There's a lot of teaching to do as a nurse in the maternity ward.  Many moms are new to this stage in life, and they don't really know what to expect.  I enjoy racking my brain for information to share, and I can see how valuable this is for the mothers.  For instance, I can teach the moms about how they will produce a special milk called Colostrum for the first few days.  She won't produce a great deal of it, but this special milk is low-fat, high in protein, and contains natural antibodies from the mom that will help the baby to fight infection.

So it's important to encourage the moms to start breastfeeding right away so that the babies can take advantage of this special milk.  Some moms don't really know how to breastfeed yet, so the nurses can teach them some tips and tricks on how to hold the baby and to get a good "latch".  I also get to teach the moms about how the milk is based on a supply-and-demand system.  The more she breastfeeds, the more milk she will produce.

Stressed Out Moms
Many moms feel stressed out for the first few days because they don't produce much milk and the baby starts to lose weight.  What they don't always realize is that a) the baby will naturally lose a little weight from extra water being lost and b) the baby's stomach is about the size of a chickpea for the first few days.  The mom doesn't really need to feed it that much milk at one time.  However, she does need to feed it a little every three hours.  As long as she does this, she'll notice her regular milk come in around 3-5 days later and everyone will be happier.

Some moms want to switch to formula as fast as possible because they think that their baby isn't getting enough food, but it's important for me to teach them that human milk is much better for the baby than formula.  Formula's main ingredient is whey from cow's milk.  My teacher has noticed that babies eating formula are more gassy, more poopy, and more irritable.  Also, if the mom starts switching to formula, or using it to supplement her milk, she'll start to produce less milk.  It becomes a cycle where the mom becomes more and more dependent on using formula, and the baby is missing out on the awesome benefits of mom's milk.

Lots of New Info
I find the maternity rotation to be very interesting in terms of all the new vocabulary that I'm learning and all the information that is so specific to childbirth.  I think that I'll enjoy it a lot more once I have more knowledge from my classes on this area of nursing.  For now, I feel a little bit useless because I can't help the moms more.  I know bits and pieces of information, but not the whole picture yet.

I'm looking forward to getting more experience in clinical this week.  Maybe I'll get to bathe a baby!  That would be cool  :)

Have a great week!

Weeks 6 & 7 of Nursing School (2nd Year)

The last two weeks have been a blur.  There was a massive 52 page paper to hand in, a skill testing presentation, and a slew of exams.  The exams continue on this week, in addition to a group presentation.  It's a lot of work!

Switching to Maternity
My social life has dwindled down and my poor sweetheart is neglected (tsk-tsk), but there was a teensy break this weekend.  We are switching over from the surgical rotation to the maternity rotation so there was no clinical this week.  This week I will be in the maternity ward - oh, I am so excited!

At first I was terrified.  "Oh no!" I thought, "I am going to drop a baby on it's head FOR SURE!"  The parents will relay to the child with sad eyes about how the student nurse, Marie, had slippery hands and dropped him right on his noggin.  He'll probably sustain brain damage, and sue me for every non-penny I have.

But, little by little, I began to anticipate being able to see these little squirming bundles of fat and cuteness.  Babies are the best!  Of course, I'm a little biased right now because I saw my friend's baby this weekend and he's an exceptionally awesome baby  :)

The Best of Surgery
Still, I will miss working in surgery.  It has been a very good experience.  I had a really good teacher that taught me a lot, and I was fortunate to work with many nurses that took time out to show me procedures and other cool things.  I also got to try out lots of new skills, such as removing staples on surgical wounds, hanging IV bags, taking out a urinary catheter, giving injections, flushing IV saline locks, and changing wound dressings. It has been neat!

The patients have been a lot more mobile and active than last semester (geriatrics), and it has been exciting to see them get well and to go home.  If you ever get hospitalized, remember to try and start moving as soon as you can safely do so.  It keeps your blood moving around so that you don't get blood clots and bed sores, and you'll heal faster!  You'll also suffer less complications like the dreaded constipation.

One patient said to me in awe, "Why are all these people lying around in bed?  They need to GET UP and start walking!  They'll never get better by lying around like that!"  That patient was an inspiration, and she got better a lot faster than my textbook estimated.  I was proud of her!

Well, I better get back to my studying.

I hope you have a great week!
 

Weeks 4 & 5 of Nursing School (2nd Year)

"It's not a real patient!" I woke up saying yesterday afternoon. I had just had a terrible dream where my patient had died for a very long time and somehow I had never noticed.  This was a result of a grueling week of exams and papers, and two clinical days where nothing seemed to go right.

Things Go Wrong
Granted, they weren't my patients, but anytime something bad happens to a patient I start to worry that something bad will happen to one of mine.  In clinical this week, one patient stopped breathing, one patient's condition suddenly deteriorated to the point where they had to assign the student nurse to a different patient because the condition was too critical for a student nurse to manage, and one patient was delirious and pulled out all of the tubings and IV.  It was a student nurse's worst nightmare.

You can rest easy knowing that none of these things happened as a result of anything that the student nurse's did wrong.  We literally walked onto the surgical floor, went to check on our assigned patients, and ran out calling for help.  Sometimes bad things happen on a surgical ward because patients have complications from the surgery, different tests, and medications.  Luckily, this was our first experience with this since starting in surgery, so I guess it's not that common.

Needless to say, I was running at maximum adrenaline levels.  I was in constant fear that I was going to do something wrong.  Unfortunately for me, this was also the day that my teacher assigned us two patients instead of one.  She also wanted to give us some more complicated cases.  *groan*

After running around like a chicken with its head cut off, I came home, showered, and collapsed into bed.  I was out in seconds.

Such is the life of a nursing student in second year.  There are always too many assignments to do, too little time to sleep, too many exams that coincide with other projects, and waaaaay too much that we don't know yet.  In clinical, we are constantly flipping through our textbooks to look up different conditions, reviewing how to do something, what certain medications are for, etc.  It's hectic.

Sweet Patients
Of course, not all is bad.  I still get nice moments with clients.  I was in the middle of rushing off to do something yesterday when one of my clients started calling, "Nurse!  Nurse!"  I rushed over to see what was wrong.  Instead of reporting something frightful, he flashed me a big grin and said, "Nurse, you are doing a great job!  I can see you are very busy today, but I know you are going to be a great nurse one day." *sigh of relief from the nursing student*

When I told him at the end of my shift that I was going home now, he exclaimed, "What am I going to do when you're gone?  I am going to MISS you!"  Lol, I'm going to miss you too, lovely client.

Weeks 1 to 3 of Nursing School (2nd Year)

The first three weeks back to school have zoomed by!  I feel like I have so much to tell you, and yet I have so little time to do it.  THERE IS SO MUCH HOMEWORK!!!

Watching Surgeries
So I'll just share a little of what has been going on.  First of all, the focus this term is on Surgery and Maternity.  The class has been split into two: half of us are in Surgery and half of us are in Maternity.  I'm starting in Surgery first so I've had the chance to watch three live surgeries so far!  I literally got to stand above a patient's head while the surgeon cut their chest open.

It was the most unreal experience I have ever had.  The surgical assistant was holding something smooth and pink inside of the patient and she told me that it was the stomach.  My eyes almost popped out of my head.

I expected to see a lot of blood, but the surgeon used a special tool that basically cuts and seals at the same time so there isn't much bleeding at all.  The only side effect is a very pungent burning smell, kind of like burning oil.

Team O.R.
Anyways, it was a really positive experience for me to see the surgeries because I'm quite afraid of the operating room.  Watching the operations as a student allowed me to see a different perspective and I was really impressed at how nice the nurses treated the patients and how well they all worked together as a team.  The anesthetist was able to time things perfectly so that the patient woke up immediately after being transferred to the bed that takes them to the recovery room.  It was like magic!

General Surgery Ward
I also got to care for the patients on the surgical ward after they underwent surgery.  This is very different than caring for elderly patients like I did last term.  Many of the patients on a surgical ward are not elderly and have very little illness aside from the surgery.  They can do most of their own care independently, and they also have less medications.  So, in a sense, it's easier this term than last term in clinical because I don't have to assist as many patients to the bathroom or bathe them.  On the flipside, we have new skills to practice, such as injections, IV, and dressing changes.  We also need to see the bigger picture now so that we can plan how to get the patient back to being healthy so that they can go home.

I find this really exciting because I get to think more about what I can do as a nurse to help the person heal better and feel better.  I also do a lot of exploring with the patient on how they cope with their illnesses, their support network, and what they do to improve their health.  I also get to teach patients about things that can improve their health.  Something about all this talking with patients and teaching them makes me feel really useful, so I have really enjoyed clinical so far.  I also have a fabulous teacher that really encourages us to think critically about how and why we do things, and whether there are better ways to do things.  I love improving processes, so this is candy for me.

Anyhow, I better get back to my studying.  So, if you're wondering about why there is a picture of an orange, it's because one of the patients gave it to me as a gift.  I only had her for one day, but it was her last day at the hospital and she wanted to give me something.  She said that she had really appreciated my care and how nice I had been to her.  You can't really give nurses gifts per say, so I asked the teacher what to do with the orange.  "Eat it," she said.  So the orange came home with me.

Have a great week!
 

The Last Weeks of Second Semester Of Nursing School

Hairy Last Weeks

I've been missing in action for the last few weeks because things got a bit hairy as I was preparing for final exams. For one thing, my clinical review was coming up, and I was terrified that I was going to fail clinical.

One of my classmates got the boot that particular week and she was so angry. It was soooo close to the end of the semester, but the teacher didn't feel that she was ready for the next semester so she failed the poor student. I began to have day-mares about having the same thing happen to me. I pictured it so clearly in my head!

Clinical Power

Meanwhile, in clinical itself, I rallied to put myself together and to put on a brave face. I worked so hard to improve in all of the areas that my teacher had criticized me on.

I studied my assessments so that I was able to complete them quickly and thoroughly; I studied how to write good charts so that I could show the teacher as perfect a written chart as possible each day; and I did my best to spend more time in the nursing station area where my teacher could find me (I like to spend most of my time talking with the patients and helping other patients when I'm done with caring for my own patient, but the teacher likes to be able to find me and to check in on my progress). On top of that, I came well-prepared for every clinical, studied my medications meticulously, and focused on being a stellar student and stellar nurse.

It paid off.

Rockin' Finish

My teacher had no choice but to agree that I had made a significant improvement. She could see that I was working super hard and she felt that, if I continued to work this hard, I would have no problems next semester. In fact, she said that I would probably really enjoy the next semester since half of it will be in maternity. She even said that, if I could learn to balance my time between the nursing station and spending time with clients, I'd turn out to be an excellent nurse. She admitted that it was actually a good thing that I was spending so much time with the clients, but that I simply needed to balance that between other tasks like charting and taking breaks.

So, that concludes my first clinical experience! I struggled like crazy to fit the role that my teacher wanted me to fill, but I had SUCH a good experience with the patients! They were my life line. When I felt like I was a terrible nurse because my teacher was questioning whether nursing was a good fit for me, the patients were telling me that I was going to be a great nurse and that they looked forward to having me care for them again. They smiled at me, held my hand, and one even told me that she loved me!

Good Memories

I'll always hold dear being called an Angel of Mercy, and I'll always laugh over the fellow that asked me why I was being so nice to him. It has been a good, good experience.

I got to give medications for the first time, check glucose for the first time, give a needle for the first time, and witness the ravages of chemotherapy for the first time.

So many good firsts, and yet it was so, so hard as well! I passed though, thank God. What an uphill battle.

Grades

As for the rest of my classes, the grades are out. I didn't manage to get straight A-'s this semester, but I did get 2 B+'s, mastery for clinical, and A- in second level of Human Anatomy and Physiology. It's not bad. I'll try to see if I can pull those B+'s up for next term.

It's a funny feeling now though. We're off for the summer until September! What should I do with all this time off?

... you'll be hearing a lot from me over the next while?

Cheerio!

Week 11 - The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly

Wow, it's been a while since I posted a new update. We just finished week 11!

So, what's been going on?

Well, A LOT!

The Good

Let's begin with the good stuff! We started to learn injections. I was so frightened when I pulled out the needles in my injection kit for the first time. I basically stared at the needles in awe and fear. I hardly wanted to touch them.

"Do you feel the power?" my classmate asked me. I guess she felt very powerful to be holding a needle in her hand that would puncture skin to inject medicine. I don't know if I felt powerful. At the time, I just felt fear that I'd be poked. I hate getting needles!

I practiced relentlessly in lab using the practice pads provided. They are soft and squishy to simulate fat, or rubbery and filled with gel to simulate skin and muscle. I wanted to be an expert at giving injections because I wanted to cause as little pain as possible when giving a real injection.

Well, today I got to give a REAL injection! They call it a "subcutaneous injection" because it goes into fat tissue under your skin. I had to take a big pinch of fat and skin on the side of the belly and quickly poke the needle in (like a dart) and inject the medication. When I was done, I was surprised to discover that the needle wound didn't bleed. Also, my patient claimed that it didn't hurt! What a trooper! I could have hugged him! He made my first injection experience a walk in the park.

I walked out of the room with a gigantic grin on my face and my teacher, who had supervised the entire process, congratulated me on my first injection. It made me feel like a real nurse to be giving needles! Go figure :)

The Bad

Before my positive clinical experience, I had to go through Hell. We had clinical feedback sessions and my clinical teacher gave me feedback on how I had done for the past few weeks. I was feeling especially scatterbrained the weeks before this so I was expecting the worst and GOT the worst! My teacher was not impressed with my performance and questioned whether I was well-suited for the nursing field. She thought that I was too slow and too disorganized. She said a lot of other things that made me feel sadder and sadder. After a while, I believed her and wasn't sure if nursing was right for me either.

I went to the school counselor to talk about whether nursing was really the right choice for me, and he said the most interesting things. He told me that I needed to understand the culture of nursing. "Men have the military," he said, "and women have nursing. Both justify their tactics based on the fact that lives are at stake."

He told me that telling the teacher about my worries and pointing out my weaknesses was like painting a red bull's eye on my forehead. He advised that I start pointing out my strengths instead and to act confident even if I didn't feel confident. "Fake it 'till you make it," he said, "except you're not really faking it because you actually CAN do it, can't you?" I knew he was right, so I started to be more focused on what I COULD do instead of what I couldn't.

Surprisingly, it worked. I still studied hard and did all the usual homework, but I found that I was able to be less focused on me, and more focused on just doing my best and reporting to the teacher some of my achievements. She slowly had less complaints and I even got a smile in there once in a while. I got all my assessments done early, did good charting, and reported in to her regularly to check on my progress. Now her complaint is that I don't go on break on time.

The Ugly

I'd say that the ugly is what goes on inside of my head when I don't believe in my own ability to do something. It sabotages me so that I end up failing when I could have actually passed with flying colours. I thought I couldn't be a good nurse, and the teacher agreed with me. Who's going to defend me if I don't even bother to defend myself?

The counselor told me to hold onto the comments that my patients say to me, to use them as fuel for me to move forward and to stay focused. My patients say wonderful things to me. They tell me that I'm a great nurse, that they want to have me care for them again, and that they think I took really good care of them. Last week, a sweet lady told me that I was an "Angel of Mercy". I wasn't sure what an angel of mercy was so I just smiled at her. She could tell that I wasn't really getting it so she added, "... and that's not a light compliment!"

Her compliment made me feel like I had done something really important that day.

Anyways, I better get back to my studying, but I wanted to share this with you. I hope you have a wonderful day :)

Weekend Contemplations

It was a rough time last week. Even though I had one day off, that single day threw me a curve ball. I had to do a rewrite on an assignment, I didn't get 100% on my medication test (drats!), I didn't do my charting early enough, and I didn't follow up properly on a high blood pressure. I just let the nurse know and checked the pulse, but I was supposed to ask if the patient felt light headed or dizzy, and I should have listened to their heart sounds. The teacher said that I had a "black mark" on my record for failing to chart that day. Ugh... I started to think seriously about whether I was going to get kicked out of clinical.

On the good side, I did everything right when I discovered a low oxygen saturation. I asked the patient to cough, I recorded the amount and character of sputum produced, I got them up out of bed into a chair, and rechecked the oxygen plus the number of respirations. By then, the oxygen level was back up to normal levels, so gold star for me! I also hit it off really well with the patient, and we did a lot of chatting. I'd say that I did a pretty good job of caring for her that day too. By the end of the day, I tucked her into bed and told her I'd be leaving soon. She asked me sleepily if I'd be taking care of her again. "Because you liked having me as your nurse?" I asked.

"Yeah," she replied. "You take really good care of me."

That made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I know I didn't get all the nursing stuff perfect, and I'm worried that I won't pass this course with flying colours, but at least the patients feel well taken care of and they enjoy my company. It makes me feel like I'm doing some good in this world. I mean, the whole point of me becoming a nurse was to help people. If I didn't accomplish that little part, this whole endeavor would be pointless!

Weeks 6 & 7 of Semester Two of Nursing School

Midterm Insanity

Ah yes, midterms. I had almost forgotten how nerve-wracking it can be to jump from exam to exam throughout a single day only to sink into more exams the next day. Over and over it goes until you feel throughly rinsed out with the influx of new information that must be flushed out the next day, and scribed onto paper.

I think today was one of the hardest days because I stayed up past 1 am the night before to finish up homework due for this morning at 8 am. Midday was a medication administration exam that I *must* get 100% on in order to be able to give out meds, and late afternoon was a Biology midterm that lasted two hours.

If you can believe it, I almost fell asleep during the Biology midterm. I had already finished writing it, but I was going over the answers when I realized that I was staring off into the unknown about to shut my eyes for a snooze. That would have been awkward if I woke after my head hit the table :)

Last Week's Clinical Experience

I had the opportunity to care for my own client this past week, and it was a really good learning experience. Of course, this is in hindsight. At the actual moment of these learning experiences, I felt incredibly dumb and that I would make a hopeless nurse. I kept asking myself how I managed to miss obvious things, and why I didn't remember to apply principles in real life that I had learned in theory. Temperature's too low? I'm supposed to recheck the temperature first. Moist sounds in the lungs? I'm supposed to check oxygen levels and breathing. Instead, I ran around like a chicken with it's head cut off worrying that something terrible was about to happen.

On top of that, I discovered after two days of spoon-feeding one client that he could feed himself. I thought it was amusing that he let me spoon-feed him without having said anything to the contrary. I mean, it's good practice for me, but it's just odd that he never corrected me (he can talk just fine). When I told my sister, she said that my dad would have done the same thing. My dad loves being pampered and to pretend that he's incapacitated so that someone will baby him. We all laugh about it because *we* can tell when he's faking it, but I bet my dad would get a kick out of a little newbie student nurse not knowing any better. When I exclaimed to the client, "You can eat by yourself!" he spooned some food into his mouth and grinned.

Anyways, I better get some sleep. I have one day off tomorrow to catch up on homework because my teacher is sick, but we'll be back at the hospital the day after. I wonder what new adventure I'll have next? :)

Have a great week!

Week 6 of Semester Two of Nursing School

The Vomit Story

Does seeing someone throw up bother you? Does it make you want to throw up too?

Apparently, it doesn't bother me.

I once caught my friend's projectile vomit in a Safeway bag, and one of our dinner guests once hurled all over the bathroom door outside before plastering the floor inside. (No, the food wasn't THAT bad! She just had the flu and someone happened to be in the bathroom when she got the urge to purge.)

And this week, one of my patients was very sick. She threw up all morning and the urge to retch and vomit did not go away. I stood by calmly and handed her tissues to wipe her mouth. Then I dumped out her container of vomit and replaced it with a clean container. I even poured her cold glasses of water so she could rinse out her mouth.

I have to admit, I surprised myself. I honestly expected to feel grossed out and unable to assist. However, when I see someone in need like that, I go into auto-pilot and the desire to be supportive and kind takes over. I pat her hand, smile at her, and tell her soothing things. I listen to what she's saying, and I try to say encouraging things back. I don't want to embarrass her and I don't want to be in her way, but I do what I can to be there for her so that she doesn't feel alone and scared.

I watch as her family watches anxiously as I monitor the patient's vital signs, and I can see how it scares them. I think that they fear that their family member will die right then and there in front of their eyes. Luckily, that did not happen.

Evil Health Care Workers

Most of the health care workers are very good at their jobs and they are kind and caring too. However, one lady - I'm not sure if she's a nurse or not - was very offensive to me. She came to take a blood sample from the sick patient, took one look at her retching into a container and said, "I hate it when people throw up!" Then she walked out.

When she came back, she looked very grossed out and she said to the patient, "Are you done throwing up yet?" The patient looked back with wide eyes and shook her head. She had been throwing up all morning, it was unreasonable, really, to expect her to suddenly stop. "When you throw up, I feel like throwing up!" The health care worker said. Well, I understood this idea, but it wasn't a very thoughtful thing to say. "Can you hold it in for a little bit?" The patient continued to look terrified while still clutching tightly to her container.

Finally, the health care worker decided to just get the job done. The poor patient looked miserable.

You Have Rights

Something I should mention now for anyone that is reading this is that all patients have the right to refuse treatment, medication, or care. If you ever go to the doctor or hospital and they want to do something to you that you don't want to have done. You can say no. As long as you are alert and aware of what is going on, and you have the ability to sign a paper that says you refused treatment or care, you can walk out and feel in control of your life.

I'm not saying that you should refuse care if you need it and if it's for your own good. I'm just saying that you have rights as a patient. I think that many patients don't realize that they can say no.

In the hospital, if I want to feed you food and you don't want to eat, I can't force-feed you. If I want to give you medicine, and you say no, I can't force you to take it. It's your right to say no.

Patients are Paying Customers

Also, the health care industry is a service to you. You're our clients and customers. If you're not happy with the service you're getting at the hospital, get your family to write a letter to the hospital to complain. You or your tax dollars are paying for care and you should be happy with the quality of service provided to you.

Anyways, I just wanted to say this because many of the patients complain about the quality of care that they are getting, but they don't realize that they can do something about it. They start to believe that they have lost control over their own life and health, but that is not the case. I think that knowing you have some control over your situation helps you to overcome it and to feel better.

Thoughts as a Nursing Student

So week 6 was a good one with lots of opportunities to help patients and to feel useful. It seems like a dream to me because it's so different from being an animator. When I woke up this morning, I expected to be an animator again, but there were drug guides on my desk, and binders were open to diagrams of the nervous system.

In some ways, I feel lost. This career change seems to be an on-going struggle for me. While I am thankful for finally finding meaning in life, some of what goes on in the hospital is so significant that I feel exhausted when I get home. You can compare it to be being a super-hero with a secret identity. For me, I'm a nurse by day, and an artist by night.

I definitely have more respect for what nurses do now.

Have a great week, and try not to barf :P

Week 5 of Semester Two of Nursing School

Falling Behind

At almost halfway through the semester, the assignments and exams were rolling in. I was barely keeping up, and I was running at 4-6 hours of sleep per day in order to get my homework and studying done on time.

Monday: Human Anatomy and Physiology quiz

Tuesday: Nursing Communication quiz

Wednesday: group presentation on Delirium, Dementia, and Alzheimer's Disease

Thursday and Friday: clinical days

For clinical, I had to look up 9 medications and read up on illnesses such as brain tumors and hypothyroidism. I also had to finish a Journal Reflection on a significant experience, and I had to fill in something called a Decision Making Worksheet, which lists all the patient information needed to make decisions and plan care for a patient. It was busy and go-go-go all week, but I felt pretty good by the end of it.

Screwing Up in Clinical

In clinical this week, we were partnered up with another student and given one patient to care for. It was exciting for me because I could focus on one client instead of a large group at once. Well, at least that was what I was expecting. In actual fact, there are 4 clients in one room so you're really taking care of all 4 of them at once. You only have a single patient if everyone else in the room is okay.

I greeted my patient with my partner and he turned out to be a really nice guy. He joked with us and he promised he'd try to help us pass our course, lol! Of course, the easy part of my clinical experience ended there.

I attempted to take his blood pressure and found that I could barely hear his heart beat when I put my stethoscope on his arm. I listened very carefully twice. The first time I couldn't hear it at all. The second time, I could barely hear it. I didn't trust such a sketchy report so I got my partner to check his blood pressure and I used the machine to get his blood pressure once too.

I reported the machine blood pressure to the nurse and my teacher got mad at me. She said, "We nurse patients, not machines!" She wanted us to be able to give a manual blood pressure reading and to be confident in our reports. Machines are often not as reliable as a manual blood pressure reading, so it is important for a nurse to be able to give accurate manual "bp" readings.

I attempted to check the patients blood pressure again the next day, but I really couldn't hear a thing. I went to the teacher and told her that I was having trouble with taking bp's and that I would like to have some more practice. "I can't hear a thing!" I said. So she gave me another patient to try it on.

Lo and behold, I couldn't hear a thing on him either. By this time, I was getting suspicious. I thought that I couldn't hear anything on the other patient because his blood pressure was low, but this patient should have had a regular blood pressure. I returned to the teacher and told her that I suspected that something was wrong with my stethoscope.

She was about to lend me hers when she stopped and suddenly had a realization. "Do you have it turned on to the right setting?" Oh, I almost died there. She tapped on my stethoscope. "Do you hear this?"

"I hear tapping..." She turned the stethoscope head and tapped it again.

"What do you hear now?" It was super loud!

Oh my goodness, I had done the ultimate newbie nurse mistake. I had been trying to listen to a patient's heart with my stethoscope turned off. Ugghhhh! I was so embarrassed. I could comfort myself that it's pretty good that I almost had the the blood pressure right even though my stethoscope was off, but that's really stretching it.

Anyhow, we had a couple more eventful moments in clinical where we were scolded for other newbie mistakes, but our client was so sweet. "It's okay, " he kept saying. "I don't mind! You girls are getting so stressed out! It's really fine with me!" He gets top marks for being supportive and thoughtful!

Since none of my clinical group proved to be stellar this week, we'll remain paired up for next week. We get new partners though and new patients. I'm spending a lot of time this weekend brushing up on my skills so that I'll be better prepared for next week. Newbie mistakes are forgivable, but I don't feel confident enough with some tasks like head-to-toe assessments and charting. I want to brush up on those kinds of skills.

Still Loving Clinical

Mistakes aside, I really enjoyed my clinical experience. I enjoyed talking with the patients and I flitted from room to room keeping an eye on little things like whether their water pitchers were empty. It was nice to say hello and to bring a smile to their faces. I also kept an eye on whether patients looked like they were not doing as well as before.

One fellow looked pale and dazed and I asked him if he was okay. He described feeling "not so good" and that he was dizzy. I got him to lay down and called the nurse over. I checked his vital signs and every thing was normal according to the machine, but when we manually checked his pulse it was irregular. (See why the machine can be a problem?)

There's just so much going on in a hospital ward all of the time. It's no wonder everyone is asking for more nurses. I'm glad that there are student nurses running around helping out, even if we do make some mistakes. We're at least another pair of eyes that can alert the nurses when something goes wrong, and it helps the nurses a lot to have us helping with the bathing and other menial tasks. The patients definitely appreciate the extra attention.

Anyhow, I better get back to the studying. I hope you all have a great week. Take good care of yourselves!!!

Weeks 3 & 4 of Semester Two at Nursing School

These last two weeks have been pivotal. We have started working at the local hospital. In this time, I have given bed baths to real clients instead of mannequins, and I've listened and cared for real people instead of reading about it in the textbooks. What have I learned? That it's really hard to grow old and to grow ill.

I was basically living in a bubble, thinking that I was getting old and going over the hill. There is no way that I can think of myself as an old person now. I feel incredibly young and healthy instead. I don't say this in a stuck up way, I say this because that's how the patients view me. I'm just a child to them. They are constantly telling me I'm too young to know such and such. It's beautiful.

But back to growing old, I discovered that elderly people get incredibly wrinkled. They don't get wrinkles from smiling, like young people. They get wrinkled because they lose most of the fat under their skin. Their muscles are shrunken as well. If you can imagine what would happen to you if you sucked all of the fat out of your body, including under your skin, and deflated your muscles, you can imagine a little bit of what your skin might look like afterwards. The skin is very thin too, like rice paper.

I felt sad looking at these elderly patients because I wished that they could run around and dance and do things that young people do, but they can't. One of my patients looked into the mirror one morning and groaned. "I look terrible," she said. I told her she didn't look terrible at all, but I wondered what it must be like to look into the mirror and to see an old person looking back one day.

In some ways, working with elderly people makes me not want to grow old. You become so fragile and if you get sick you depend on nurses for even the most simple tasks. However, some of these patients warmed my heart.

One patient told me that she thinks of me as "Nurse with a #1 beside it". I'm sure she says this to everyone, but I beamed anyways. Others regaled me with stories of their youth and they had done so much! Some had even been nurses themselves! They told me how different things were back then. Others were simply polite and sweet, never taking any of your actions for granted.

I was amazed at being able to help people, just like I had wanted, all day. It was amazing and special to me, and I liked it very much.

We were shadowing nurses this past week, helping them wherever we could, but this coming week we'll be taking care of a single patient in pairs. I am excited to meet my new patient, and I look forward to learning more about nursing and about these wonderful clients!

I wish you all a lovely week!